Friends (Leaving pt 2)

One week from today, I leave for college. 

And you can call me overdramatic all you want, but every friend I graduated with has been, is, or will be struggling emotionally with the concept of leaving.

In my life, I am the one leaving: moving out of my hometown, moving out of my parents' house, moving away from my friends. Many of my friends who have already left are feeling homesick and struggling to adapt to this lifestyle change. This is not a unique feeling, but that doesn't mean it's any less painful.

On the other hand, my friends staying in my hometown are struggling with the feeling of being left behind. I only have to say one round of goodbyes; these friends have to do them over and over as each friend moves away from them. Surrounded by positive images of dorm life on Snapchat and Insta, many crave moving out of their parents' house and into an apartment. Some are even rethinking their decision to remain in our hometown.

Long-distance relationships of any kind are tough, but we have the internet in our pockets and memories in our hearts. I love meeting new people, so I'm not hesitant to form new relationships, but I'm still making every possible effort to maintain the friends I have because they're really important to me.

Most importantly, I don't have answers to any of the questions fueled by self-doubt. I still don't know what my purpose is, what jobs and careers I'll have, or whether or not certain risky financial decisions will pay off in the long-term. But I do know that leaving never gets any easier, and it doesn't always have to do with a place or a physical move. Sometimes relationships die because one person changes too fast and the other feels like they haven't changed at all. Sometimes you look back and realize you've left yourself behind, that you no longer recognize the person everyone else sees before them and calls by your name.

But I think it's important to remember that it's never too late to change who you are, even if you're the only one who can notice these small changes in yourself. Be your own best friend because it gives you time to better yourself. Be honest with yourself and your flaws. Stop holding yourself to other people's standards, whether they're higher or lower than your own. Don't give up on yourself, even if everyone else does. You can always improve yourself to become the best you you can be.

well kids, change is a part of life and sometimes you have to go through it alone. just remember that people care about you. i care about you. i'll be your friend until you're sick of me and these blogs. 

xxx,

carley