Idealization
(Leaving Pt 3)
![Image](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiONippF9cKo3odOe4CGjvIinoY3yPRBdSUjMel98GBFiB9plv_Nn_OUt4_UPcEN4ZahWApkyqLisyXVA03XTmRdGW_icgDJxbZJbwS8ijsnibt-KqXoxspVETOhc4KxQ61vWN9gTFbxBc/s640/backlit-crescent-moon-dawn-2011639.jpg)
Photo by Sidney lima on Pexels . I don't know if I miss you or the idea of you. idealization n. the action of regarding or representing something as perfect or better than in reality I idealize people. People I love, people I don't like, people I've met a total of twice. I consume memories like an alcoholic: not because I like the taste of them but because I need them to function, to remind me of who I am. Memories that are saccharine-coated nothings that leave a bitter aftertaste in my hippocampi. Some conscious brain got it right when it named the hippocampus. The word feels fat and self-indulgent. My hippocampi are sleeping on the job; memories come in but they're not filed away for easy access; sometimes I sift through whole piles of memories and sometimes I can't remember anything no matter how hard I try. I remember how I felt when I was with people but I don't remember how they felt unless they told me or I felt it too. Empathy only gets yo